


left behind

by sxftmelody



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, F/F, The Last of Us AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-10-25 10:47:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20722952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sxftmelody/pseuds/sxftmelody
Summary: Jungeun's eight when she meets Jinsol, a ten-year-old girl who comes to the base holding hands with her little sister.





	left behind

**Author's Note:**

> hi to be honest this isn't all that i have written for this fic but i'm unsure if i'll ever get around to finishing it so i decided to just post up until what i think would be a good open-ended ending.

** _the past._ **

Jungeun’s too young to remember the world before it went to shit. Having only been three years old when the first signs of the infection came out, there just weren’t enough memories for her to remember the past. All she knows is that the world became chaotic and the dead were coming back alive.

Luckily for her, her parents managed to get all of them into a camp run by the military because of some connections her father had. Her childhood is spent growing up in one portion of the city, sectioned off by barricades and guard towers to keep infected out. This area is all she knows. 

She’s eight when she meets Jinsol, a ten-year-old girl who comes to the base holding hands with her little sister. 

—

Jungeun’s practicing her handwriting when the door to her room opens and in walks two girls that she’s never seen before. 

(Sure, the camp is large, but not large enough to the point where she can’t recognize someone.)

Her mother is standing behind them, placing her hands on the girls’ shoulders, “Jungeun, these two girls are going to be staying with us, okay?”

Jungeun blinks, eyeing the two. She notices that the older one has cuts and bruises all over her skin (at least, where Jungeun can see) whereas the little one does not. All the smaller girl really has is some dirt smudged across her cheek and a bruise on her knee.

She nods, “Okay.”

“Good,” her mother smiles, gently urging the two girls further into the room, “I’m just going to go get our rations. I’ll be back.”

“Alright,” Jungeun says, looking out of the window and seeing that the sun is starting to set. 

Her mother should hurry unless she wants to get a violation for being out past curfew. 

The two girls stand awkwardly in the room, unsure of what to do. Jungeun tries to go back to practicing her handwriting, but it’s too awkward and tense in the room for her to concentrate. She closes her notebook and sets it down on her bed. 

“My name is Jungeun,” she says, looking up, “what are your names?”

The older one vaguely gestures to the smaller girl holding onto her hand, “Yerim,” she says, and then points to herself, “Jinsol.”

Jungeun nods, “Do you two want the top bunk or the bottom bunk?”

—

It’s a couple of weeks later that Jinsol and Jungeun  _ actually _ talk—and not just about the base rules, schoolwork or training.

They’re sitting on the floor of their bedroom. Yerim’s already asleep but the two older girls are awake, using a small candle-lit lamp to let them see whatever they’re doing. Jinsol’s reading an old newspaper and Jungeun’s laying on her stomach, reading a comic book. 

Jungeun looks up when she hears Jinsol mumble something under her breath. The girl’s staring  **hard** at the newspaper, eyes scanning the words with her eyebrows furrowed. 

“What are you even reading?” Jungeun asks, careful not to be too loud. 

Jinsol tears her eyes away from the paper, “What?”

“The paper,” Jungeun points, “what’s it about?”

“Oh,” Jinsol murmurs, “it’s about the infection.”

Jungeun frowns, “What’s got you reading  _ that _ ?”

Jinsol shrugs, “I’d like to know what I’m dealing with.”

Jungeun shifts her body, sitting up as she closes her comic, “So, what have you learned?”

Taken aback by the question, Jinsol’s eyes widen, and then they flicker back to the newspaper, “Well… the words are too big for me to know them…” she admits, embarrassed.

“Oh, that’s alright,” Jungeun shuffles to her feet, heading to her desk and grabbing her notebook, “here, write down the words you don’t know.”

She hands the notebook to Jinsol, who takes it with confusion in her eyes. 

Jungeun smiles, “We can use one of the dictionaries at school tomorrow to figure them out.”

“ _ We _ ?” Jinsol repeats.

“Yeah,” Jungeun nods, “we’re roommates. We gotta stick together—all three of us.”

Jinsol looks down at her lap, a small smile growing on her lips.

“Okay,” she says quietly, starting to write down the unknown words. 

Her handwriting is messy, much messier than Jungeun’s, but it only makes Jungeun more curious as to where the girls had come from. With the condition Jinsol had shown up in, it’s clear that their journey hadn’t been easy. 

Jungeun stares at Jinsol in the silence of their room, her head full of questions about the mysterious girl and her little sister.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**6 years later.**

Jungeun’s feet take her as fast as she can go. She has the urge to look back but knows that if she does, she’ll regret it.

She keeps her eyes forward and  _ runs _ .

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_ Still, it’s not enough. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jinsol zooms past her and zips past the finish line, too. Jungeun’s seconds behind her, placing both hands on her knees afterwards, trying to catch her breath.

“Dammit, Jinsol,” Jungeun says breathlessly, “can’t you… just… let me win? Just once?”

Jinsol laughs at this, putting her hands on the back of her head. She’s as out of breath as Jungeun is.

“No can do, Jungie,” she shakes her head. 

“Not even once?” Jungeun asks, straightening her posture.

“Nope,” Jinsol giggles, “c’mon, let’s go before we get yelled at.”

“For  _ what _ ?” Jungeun scoffs, following Jinsol down the street, “We already did everything we needed to do today.”

“You know how they are,” Jinsol says, kicking a pebble on the ground. 

‘They’ being the military that runs the camp. 

_ Yeah _ , Jungeun thinks bitterly,  _ I know _ .

“Yerim’s probably done with her classes by now anyway,” the older girl states, turning the corner. She pauses in her steps when she sees four people lined along the sidewalk, all of them on their knees. 

Jungeun stops next to her, eyes fixating on what Jinsol’s looking at.

A soldier walks down the line, using a device to detect whether the person is infected or not. 

Jungeun slips her hand into Jinsol’s, “We can go around,” she says, tugging Jinsol away from the scene.

As they walk away, they hear bullets ringing out.

  
  
  
  


—

  
  
  
  


Seeing as Yerim isn’t a terrified toddler anymore, she and Jinsol sharing a small bunk-bed wasn’t the most ideal situation—so Jungeun found a mattress and tossed it onto the ground. Now, the two sisters take the bunk-bed and Jungeun sleeps on the ground next to them.

Most nights, Yerim sleeps on the top bunk and Jungeun and Jinsol stay up talking to each other.

Jungeun’s always thought about asking Jinsol about where she and Yerim had come from during these nights, but she’s scared of scaring Jinsol off. Sure, they’re closer than ever before now, but Jungeun’s still anxious.

One night, however, Jungeun builds up the courage to ask. At this point in time, she’s known Jinsol for nearly nine years. They’re not little girls anymore, with Jinsol being nineteen and Jungeun being seventeen. Jungeun thinks Jinsol might trust her enough to tell her about her and Yerim’s past. Still, she doesn’t want to sound like she’s entitled to anything.

“Hey, Jinsol?” Jungeun calls out quietly. Yerim’s asleep (she hasn’t outgrown the fact that she falls asleep quickly and like a brick).

“Hmm?” Jinsol asks from the bottom bunk bed. 

Jungeun stares up at the ceiling.

“Can I… Can I ask you something?”

She hears shuffling as Jinsol turns her body to look at Jungeun. She leans on her hand as she bends her elbow and looks down. Jungeun stays in her position, not moving anything except her lips as she speaks.

“What happened... to you and Yerim? Like,  _ before  _ you came to the base.”

“Oh…” Jinsol releases almost breathlessly. It makes Jungeun look up and over, staring at her face in the darkness.

“You don’t have to answer,” Jungeun backtracks upon seeing Jinsol’s hesitance, “I just… I’ve always wondered.”

“Uhm… I mean, it’s nothing special, really,” Jinsol shrugs. She sits up and, before Jungeun realizes it, she’s moving underneath the blankets and now she’s face-to-face with the older girl. Jinsol keeps talking after she’s settled, “Yerim and I obviously weren’t alone the whole time. We had a group. But our group got raided.”

Jungeun struggles to dial down the bitterness in her tone as she says, “Fireflies.”

“Fireflies,” Jinsol nods, “they… they gathered everyone and shot them one-by-one, in the head. We watched our parents...”

She trails off. A clear of the throat.

Jungeun stares sadly.

“But… you and Yerim got out alive?”

“Surprisingly,” Jinsol hums in confirmation, “We ran, and I guess they didn’t think we were important enough to run after. We were surviving by ourselves for nearly a whole month before a patrol from your base found us in some rundown warehouse, surrounded by infected.”

“Shit,” Jungeun whispers softly. She reaches forward and takes Jinsol’s hand into her own, “It must’ve been terrifying.”

“It was,” Jinsol nods.

Jungeun can’t even begin to imagine how scary it must’ve been. She’s never been out in the real world. She’s always had the privilege of being in a guarded camp. Sure, she’s been trained to survive, but training is different from surviving.

Jungeun squeezes Jinsol’s hand, “Thanks for telling me.”

Jinsol smiles and leans forward, closing her eyes as she presses her forehead against Jungeun’s. Jungeun doesn’t close her eyes. Her eyes widen, actually, at their close proximity. 

Her breath hitches in her throat and if Jinsol notices, she doesn’t say anything.

“I just hope Yerim doesn’t have to go through something like that ever again.”

Jungeun frowns, “She won’t.”

“You don’t know that,” Jinsol lets out a humorless chuckle as she opens her eyes. She reels back slightly so she can look at Jungeun without going cross-eyed, “This base… it’s… it’s too good to be true.”

Another squeeze of the hand, “If anything does happen, she’ll have you again, but she’ll also have me.”

Jinsol takes a moment just to stare at Jungeun, eyes flickering between the younger girl’s. 

“Do you mean that?”

“Of course,” Jungeun answers immediately, “I promise.”

“You promise?” Jinsol repeats quietly, “Even if something were to happen to me, you’d protect Yerim? Always?”

“Nothing’s going to happen to you, Jinsol—”

“Do you  _ promise _ ?”

“Yes, I promise.”

There’s only half a beat of silence as the words sink in between them. Then, Jungeun feels her eyes close instinctively as Jinsol’s lips press against hers. Warm, calloused hands cup her cheeks and Jungeun leans closer.

They pull away seconds later, eyes opening and smiles growing in sync.

Jinsol presses her forehead against Jungeun’s again, and this time they both close their eyes, falling asleep with content smiles on their lips.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_ A year later, the Fireflies invade their base. It’s the last time Jungeun’s seen Jinsol. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


** _the present._ **

_ Tap. _

  
  
  
  


_ Tap. _

  
  
  
  
  


_ Tap. _

  
  
  
  
  


_ Tap. _

  
  
  
  
  


_ Tap. _

  
  
  
  
  


“ _ Stop that, _ ” Jungeun orders sternly, frowning as she tries to focus on the ripped piece of paper in front of her. 

She doesn’t look up to see Yerim pouting and moving away from the tin can she had been flicking her finger against. Jungeun’s much too invested on trying to figure out how the hell she and Yerim can get out of the mess that they’re currently in, her eyes scanning the map of the sewage system they’re lost within.

“You’ve been staring at that thing for so long,” Yerim mumbles.

“And I’ll  _ keep staring _ until I find a safe way out for us,” Jungeun replies, “now, can you please just sit down and be  _ quiet _ ? I don’t want anyone—or any ** _thing_ ** —to hear us.”

“ _ Fine _ ,” Yerim says quietly, sitting down and leaning back against the cold concrete wall. She rests the crowbar in her hand across her lap and sighs, “I don’t even understand why we’re down here in the first place.”

“To avoid the Fireflies,” Jungeun says, a hint of a growl in her tone as she finally looks up from the map. Her narrowed eyes fixate themselves onto the younger girl across the small room, her frown deepening, “you know this, Yerim. They’re  _ dangerous _ .”

“As if Clickers and Bloaters  _ aren’t _ ?” Yerim retorts.

Jungeun lets out a scoff of disbelief, folding the map up and stuffing it into her back pocket. 

She walks closer to the younger one, “Excuse me?”

“I’m just being realistic,” Yerim scrambles to her feet, to look at Jungeun eye-to-eye, “ _ everything _ is dangerous nowadays.”

Jungeun tightens her jaw, her feet stopping her until she’s just in front of the younger one.

“I don’t think you need me to remind you about what the Fireflies did to you, Yerim—what they did to  _ us _ ,” she says lowly.

The words rub salt into wounds that are still open, wounds that have not even  _ begun _ to heal. 

_ It’s been two years… _

_ Two years since…  _

Yerim’s eyes harden, “You don’t need to remind me,” she says, turning her head to the side.

Seeing the slight glossiness in Yerim’s eyes, Jungeun finds her harsh resolve softening. 

She sighs, placing a hand on Yerim’s shoulder, “I just don’t want anything happening to you, Yerim.”

“I know,” Yerim mumbles, fighting the urge to shrug off Jungeun’s hand. 

As comforting as it is, Jungeun’s not the person that Yerim wants the affection from.

Jungeun nods, backing off, “Okay, then. Let’s go.”

She turns on her heel and starts heading towards the door. 

Yerim blinks, surprised.

“What? You found a safe way out?”

“No,” Jungeun shakes her head, talking over her shoulder, “but you’re right. Everything’s dangerous now... We just have to be careful.”

Yerim doesn’t respond.

Jungeun opens the door.

“Stay close to me.”

-

The flashlight attached to the right strap of Jungeun’s backpack flickers on and off. She pauses in her steps as she gives the flashlight a couple of taps, hoping that it’d stop the flickering. 

It does.

They keep walking.

Thankfully, they haven’t run into any undead yet, but Jungeun’s still cautious. It’s not normal for areas like this to be… empty. Usually there’d be  _ hordes  _ in dark, dirty places like this. 

Hell, there should at  _ least  _ be one or two.

But there are none, and it scares Jungeun.

“There should be an exit up ahead,” Jungeun states quietly, “at least… that’s what the map said.”

“The map drawn with crayon,” Yerim replies.

“It’s still a map,” Jungeun grumbles, “you’ve been giving me a lot of attitude, you know—”

She cuts herself off when she hears something wading in the dirty sewage water up ahead. Both girls freeze in their steps, holding their breaths. Almost instantly, they both click off their flashlights and lower themselves into a crouching position.

Jungeun narrows her eyes in an attempt to see in the dark, hearing more splashing but not hearing any other noise. It’s  _ odd  _ considering that the infected are either making clicking noises, groaning, or are just out-right screaming.

When they hear a squeak, Yerim sucks her teeth and stands back up, turning her flashlight back on.

“It was just a rat,” she says, only to widen her eyes as she finds an infected, rat in hand, looking right at her.

Jungeun grits her teeth together and stands, taking out the machete that had been sheathed in her belt.

It’s a Stalker; an infected that’s reached the second stage of the infection. 

And it’s coming  _ right towards them. _

The rat’s tossed back into the water as the Stalker runs towards the two, zig-zagging unpredictably and causing the water to splash loudly. 

Jungeun can’t help but worry about how many infected in the sewers can hear the commotion. It fuels her to take down the thing as quickly as possible.

The infected runs towards her and Jungeun grunts as she swings the machete, cleanly cutting the head off of the undead. She turns around to see Yerim staring down the other end of the tunnel.

“Jungeun…” she says shakily, trailing off as the noise of splashing water and clicking groans echo through the dark sewers.

“I know,” Jungeun replies, “Come on, we need to run.”

“Right,” Yerim turns around, following Jungeun as they start to increase their speed until they’re full-on sprinting.

The Clickers aren’t that far behind them and Jungeun’s hoping to see a ladder leading up to the surface at the end of the tunnel they’re running through. 

Fortunately, luck’s on their side.

Jungeun waves for Yerim to hurry up the ladder first.

“Come on,” she hisses, looking over her shoulder and spotting four infected rushing towards them.

Yerim climbs the ladder as quickly as she can, wanting to look back down and check on Jungeun but she doesn’t because she knows that it’d only make her slower. Jungeun jumps up onto the ladder as soon as there’s room for her.

Jungeun feels a hand grab at her boot and she kicks it away, nearly slipping off of the ladder entirely. 

At the top, Yerim struggles to turn open the hatch that’s keeping them from reaching the surface.

Jungeun looks down at the infected mindlessly clawing at the ladder, worried as she starts to feel the structure shake.

“Yerim, how are you doing up there?!” Jungeun asks.

Yerim huffs, turning the wheel with all her might, “It’s not budging!”

“Shit,” Jungeun tightens her jaw, wondering if she can Yerim can take the four of them out.

“Oh, wait! I got it!”

The wheel clicks and Yerim rotates it a few times, grunting as she lifts the latch open. 

She crawls out and helps Jungeun up, too.

Jungeun shuts the latch and lets out a breath of relief.

“Jeez…” Yerim lets out breathlessly as she and Jungeun sit in the middle of the street, taking a few moments to catch their breaths.

After a couple of minutes, Jungeun gets to her feet and holds a hand out to Yerim, “Let’s get going.”

-

The majority of their journey is quiet, but once the sun starts to set and Jungeun can hear the humming of car engines in the distance, she’s filled with worry. They’ve been seeing graffiti on the buildings, most of them saying the Fireflies’ well-known quote, ‘Look for the light’ tagged along with the infamous firefly logo. It’s not hard to put two and two together. 

They’re in Firefly territory.

“Keep your head low,” she says to Yerim as they walk down the street, eyes alert.

“Jungeun, where are we going?”

“I don’t know,” Jungeun replies honestly.

_ Anywhere but here… _

And ‘anywhere’ ends up being some house that Jungeun and Yerim run into after being spotted by a Firefly who hadn’t been with the rest of their group.

“Hey!” a deep voice shouts out. 

“Shit,” Jungeun grabs Yerim’s hand and makes a beeline into the house, hoping desperately that there aren’t any more Fireflies within. Luckily, there aren’t. But that doesn’t mean that they’re not being chased by a group of them  _ right now _ .

Just as Jungeun slams the door shut, it’s being punched and kicked at a second later.

“Open up!”

“Fuck you!” Jungeun repeats back.

Yerim stands there worriedly, looking around for something to shove in front of the door.

It’s no use, though, because a second later the windows are being smashed in. Yerim rushes forward and slams her crowbar down on the hands that reach in. Cries of pain ring out and Jungeun tries to tell Yerim to run, but she’s using all of her strength to keep the door shut.

“Upstairs!” Yerim points to a staircase, “Maybe we can get out through there!”

Jungeun nods. She watches Yerim rush towards the stairs before following after her. A hand grabs her arm and she swings blindly with her machete towards the attacker. A male screams out in pain and Jungeun takes the moment to hurry up the stairs.

Another Firefly is right behind her, though, and before Jungeun can get to the room down the hall where Yerim is, she’s knocked into a different room.

“Get off of me!” Jungeun screams as her machete clatters towards the ground. 

The Firefly aims a rifle at her, but Jungeun bucks her hips up and the bullets miss. She grabs the pistol from the Firefly’s waistband and fires the whole round into the Firefly’s abdomen. The man falls forward with a guttural, wet groan.

That’s when she hears Yerim scream.

“Yerim!” Jungeun shouts out worriedly as she shoves the dead body off of her and runs into the other room. She spots a Firefly ontop of Yerim and yells as she rushes forward, bodying the soldier and sending them both flying onto the floor.

Unfortunately, Jungeun is the one that lands on the bottom. She struggles against strong arms and feels her head spin when she feels herself get punched.

Her hand blindly wanders the dirty wooden floors in hopes of finding something to bash the soldier’s head in, and her heart jumps up to her throat when she feels a mirror shard in her hand.

She grips it tightly, ignores how it stings as it slices through her skin, and  _ swings _ . 

Upon getting cut across the arm, the Firefly recoils with a hiss. Jungeun takes the moment to gain the upperhand, sitting up and shoving the soldier off of her. She sticks the glass shard into his neck as she does so.

Blood spews out as he gargles, one hand grabbing at his neck and the other reaching out for Jungeun, but Jungeun’s already hurrying to where Yerim’s knocked out on the ground.

“ _ No, no, no, no, _ ” Jungeun whispers under her breath as she cradles Yerim’s face with both of her hands. She gasps when she notices her own blood smearing across the girl’s skin, barely registering the pain of her own cut as she pulls her injured hand away. She lightly hits Yerim’s cheek, “ _ Yerim _ . Yerim, wake up.”

Jungeun’s heart is racing as she hears more cars roll down the street, indicating more Firefly soldiers.

“Yerim,” Jungeun cries, “Yerim, come on.”

Yerim’s not budging. 

Jungeun checks her pulse, trying her hardest to distinguish between her own pounding heartbeats and Yerim’s.

  
  
  
  


_ Thump. _

  
  
  
  
  


_ Thump. _

  
  
  
  
  


_ Thump. _

  
  
  
  
  


She’s alive, which relieves Jungeun, but they  _ need _ to get out of there. However, Jungeun can’t carry her. Yerim’s larger than her and Jungeun’s  _ injured _ . She feels herself start to panic.

Her panic increases tenfold when she hears more voices and footsteps enter the building.

Jungeun curses under her breath.

With quick thinking, she decides to smear her bloody hand across Yerim’s face, making her look much more injured than she actually is. 

After making Yerim look more dead than alive, Jungeun rushes towards one of the standing wardrobes and hides herself in it. She keeps the door open just a little bit so she can keep an eye on Yerim in case the Fireflies realize she’s actually alive. 

In case she needs to fight them.

...

It’s a group of four that walk into the room, guns raised. 

“They’re all dead,” is what one of them says, lowering their gun, “but there’s only one girl.”

“Where’s the other one?” another one asks.

_ They’re talking about Jungeun... _

One of the soldiers steps up and kneels down in front of Yerim. Jungeun holds her breath.

The Firefly in front of Yerim waves a dismissive hand over her shoulder, signalling for the others to leave.

“Go check the other rooms,” the voice orders, “ _ now _ .”

The three others walk out, and Jungeun realizes she’s holding her breath for a whole-nother reason. 

She recognizes that voice.

_ That voice… _

“Yerim…” the Firefly whispers, lowering her rifle to the ground and letting out a shaky sigh.

Jungeun feels anger bubble up inside of her. 

** _That voice_ ** _ . _

She waits until the Firefly’s rifle is all the way on the ground before she leaves the closet and lunges. She grabs the Firefly by the neck and holds her down, teeth gritting.

“J—Jungeun,” the Firefly gasps out, clawing at the hands choking her.

Jungeun’s eyes widen as she makes eye-contact with the Firefly, the same eyes she’d fallen in love with all those years ago stare wide-eyed back at her.

“Jinsol…”

She loosens her hold on the Firefly, but still leans over and keeps her pressed to the ground. Jungeun’s eyes flicker between Jinsol’s, confusion and betrayal swirling within them. There are a few tense moments of silence as the two girls just study each other.

“It’s you,” Jinsol whispers, “you’re… you’re alive…”

Jungeun doesn’t respond.

“But Yerim…” Jinsol gulps, eyes watering, “they killed her?”

“You’re a Firefly,” Jungeun states through her teeth, her jaw tight as she leans closer in anger, “you’re a  _ Firefly _ .”

“Shhh,” Jinsol shushes her worriedly, eyes glancing towards the open doorway, “they might hear you.”

“I don’t care,” Jungeun tightens her grip around Jinsol’s neck, tears filling her vision, “You **left **us. You left _Yerim _behind. You left **_me_** behind.”

The veins on Jinsol’s forehead start to pop out due to lack of oxygen. She grips Jungeun’s wrist tightly, eyes wide. Jungeun’s seeing red, though, and barely registers how much she’s actually hurting Jinsol until she feels their positions getting flipped.

Jinsol’s breathing heavily in an attempt to retrieve all the lost oxygen she’d been depleted of as she presses Jungeun’s hands down against the floor. Jungeun eyes the red blood smeared across Jinsol’s neck from her own cut, sniffling as angry tears roll down her cheeks.

“You left us for  _ them _ ?” Jungeun whispers, not bothering to struggle against the hold on her wrists.

“That’s not what happened,” Jinsol replies quietly, chest still heaving, “you  _ know _ that’s not what happened.”

“Then what happened?” Jungeun challenges.

“I—”

_ “Yo, Soul! You alright up there?” _

Jinsol pauses, signalling for Jungeun to be quiet with raised eyebrows as she shouts back, “Yeah! It’s clear up here!”

_ “It’s clear down here, too! Let’s head out!” _

Jinsol looks down at Jungeun and leans close, “Can you stay here?”

“What?”

“Can you stay here?” Jinsol repeats desperately, “I’ll be back in a few hours. I’ll explain everything.”

“Why the fuck would I do that?” Jungeun spits out.

“Please, Jungeun,” Jinsol asks, “ _ please _ , I can’t lose you again.”

_ Again _ .

“Whatever,” Jungeun rips her hands from Jinsol’s hold, “leave.”

Jinsol stands from Jungeun’s body and grabs her rifle, slinging it around her shoulder.

“I’ll bring you bandages for your hand, too,” Jinsol whispers before leaving.

Jungeun doesn’t watch her walk away.

-

Jungeun sits in silence as she waits for Jinsol’s return, her mind reeling with all kinds of thoughts. 

She sits with Yerim’s head on her lap, cradling her injured hand against her body and caressing Yerim’s face with her other.

When Yerim eventually comes to, she wakes up with a groan. Jungeun lets out a breath of relief.

“Yerim,” she says quietly, voice trembling as she leans down and presses Yerim close to her body.

“Jungeun…?” Yerim manages out weakly.

“Some bastard knocked you out,” Jungeun states, moving away to let Yerim breathe.

Yerim’s eyes open, blinking to adjust to the darkness.

Jungeun nods towards the Firefly’s dead body across the room, “I killed him.”

Yerim groans again, closing her eyes and bringing a hand to her head.

“What’s wrong? Your head hurts?” Jungeun asks worriedly.

“Yeah,” Yerim mumbles, “he hit my head with his gun.”

“You might have a concussion,” Jungeun says quietly. She shrugs off her jacket and bundles it up into a makeshift pillow for Yerim. She replaces her lap with the jacket and stands up.

“We didn’t have much time to scavenge the house, so I’ll do that now that you’re awake,” she states. Yerim hums in response, eyes closing.

She doesn’t mention Jinsol yet, not when Yerim’s clearly not in the right mind to process that type of information.

Jungeun closes the door behind her quietly as she leaves. She rummages through the different rooms of the house, stuffing anything she thinks will be useful in the future into her backpack. She’s in the kitchen downstairs when she hears the front door open. 

She freezes, turning just as Jinsol steps into the house’s threshold. They make eye-contact across the living room.

Jinsol lowers her rifle, walking closer to Jungeun as she takes off her bag and closes the door behind her.

“I got the bandages for you,” she says.

Jungeun takes a step back, bumping into the kitchen counter as Jinsol nears.

Jinsol’s steps falter, “Can I… Can I wrap it up for you?”

“I can do it myself,” Jungeun whispers, holding out her hand for the bag. 

Jinsol nods, giving her bag to Jungeun. She watches as Jungeun turns around to shuffle through the bag, pulling out the bottle of alcohol and the bandage roll. She walks over to the sink and uncaps the bottle.

Jungeun winces and hisses under her breath as she drenches her gash with the alcohol. It stings like hell, but she grits her teeth and pushes through it. 

_ Wrapping _ the gash is another thing. Jungeun finds herself struggling to do so with one hand, and Jinsol wants to step in again, but she doesn’t want to push Jungeun’s buttons.

It’s when Jungeun sighs in frustration and lowers her hands that Jinsol finally gets the message and walks closer. 

She takes the bandages from Jungeun and starts wrapping her injured hand carefully.

“You’ve been with Yerim this whole time,” Jinsol starts off the conversation as she keeps her eyes focused on the wound she’s tending to.

“I promised you I would,” Jungeun says coldly.

Years ago, Jinsol made Jungeun promise to protect Yerim if she were to ever go away. In the darkness of their shared-room, laying face-to-face as Yerim was fast asleep, Jinsol cupped Jungeun’s cheeks with both of her hands and Jungeun promised.

Jungeun promised, and they sealed the promise with a kiss.

Jinsol remembers. She’s never been able to forget.

She finishes wrapping the bandage and unsheathes the knife in her belt to cut the roll. 

“And now she’s dead,” Jinsol sighs.

Jungeun blinks.

She hesitates, and then she lets out a deep breath, “She’s not dead. She was unconscious.”

Jinsol’s eyes widen, “Really?”

“I wouldn’t lie to you about that,” Jungeun rolls her eyes, “but she’s out-of-it. She woke up and looked pretty disoriented. She probably has a concussion.”

“But she’s alive,” Jinsol repeats, “oh my God… after all these years…”

Jungeun looks away, “Yeah. After all these years, we thought you were  _ dead _ .”

“I thought  _ you two _ were dead,” Jinsol retorts, “I did what I had to do to survive.”

“Oh? So you joined the group that separated us in the first place?” Jungeun snaps back, keeping her voice low so she doesn’t bother Yerim upstairs, “That’s some backwards shit, Jinsol.”

“I had no choice,” Jinsol says, “they would’ve killed me.”

“You had a choice,” Jungeun replies, “you always have a choice.”

“Come  _ on _ ,” Jinsol whispers desperately, “I’m alive. You’re alive.  _ Yerim’s _ alive.”

“Yeah, and so what?” Jungeun tilts her head, eyebrows knitting together as she scoffs, “You want us to join your little Fireflies? Good luck with that. We have a bounty over our heads for killing so many of you fuckers.”

“It’s…” Jinsol frowns, “It’s the safer option to join them, Jungeun.”

“Oh my  _ God _ ,” Jungeun laughs humorlessly, walking away from Jinsol and into the living room.

Jinsol follows, watching Jungeun sit down on the dusty couch and doing the same.

“It  _ is _ .”

“Do you even  _ hear _ yourself right now, Jinsol?” Jungeun questions, “You sound  _ so _ brainless.”

Jinsol clenches her jaw at the insult, “Hey—”

“No,” Jungeun cuts her off, “You cannot tell me that joining the exact group that  _ murdered  _ our families—the group that shot your parents  _ in  _ ** _front_ ** _ of you and Yerim _ —is the ‘safe’ option.”

“In this world, it is,” Jinsol says sternly, “at least with the Fireflies there’s shelter and food.”

“Yerim and I have been doing just fine with those two things,” Jungeun replies.

“Then why were there  _ three _ Firefly watch groups being called to your position?” Jinsol hisses, “You could’ve  _ died _ .”

Jungeun shakes her head, “I’m not joining the Fireflies.”

Jinsol breathes deeply, looking up at the ceiling to calm herself. Jungeun stares down at the broken coffee table, noting the blood splattered across it.

… 

“I’m taking Yerim, then,” Jinsol whispers finally.

Jungeun’s eyes snap up, “No you’re not.”

“Yes, I am,” Jinsol says, “she’s  _ my _ sister.”

Jungeun freezes at the argument. She feels her blood run cold at the thought of losing Yerim.

“You’re not taking her, Jinsol.”

“Don’t tell me what to do, Jungeun.”

“She’s not a little kid anymore,” Jungeun says, “she’s not just going to follow you around everywhere.”

“She’s still my  _ sister _ ,” Jinsol replies with a sense of finality in her tone.

“Then what the hell am I to her?” Jungeun asks with barely-there sadness masked by blistering anger, “Her what? Her fucking babysitter?”

Jinsol softens. She leans forward slightly, “Jungeun, you can come with us.”

“No,” Jungeun says firmly, “I’m not becoming a fucking Firefly. No.”

“Then that’s your choice,” Jinsol whispers, “but I’m taking Yerim.”

“Give Yerim a choice, then.”

“What?”

“Let Yerim choose if she wants to go with you or not,” Jungeun repeats, “she’s not a kid anymore.”

Jinsol narrows her eyes at Jungeun, “Fine.”

-

The next time Yerim wakes up is in the morning. There are birds chirping as she struggles to open her eyes. 

Jungeun’s awake already and she’s there to use her hand to give Yerim some shade from the bright sun shining through the windows.

“Yerim, did you sleep well?” she asks.

Yerim sits up slowly, nodding, “Yeah… my head still hurts.”

“That’s okay,” Jungeun replies. She places a hand on Yerim’s back and rubs soothing circles, “we can rest here for a little.”

Yerim blinks at her, eyes wide, “It’s not safe here.”

Jungeun shakes her head, “I know. But I don’t want you to be moving too much if you  _ do _ have a concussion. We can rest for a couple days and then keep moving. Besides…”

Jungeun looks towards the corner of the room that their backs are both facing. 

And, as Yerim turns, she feels her mouth opening in shock at the familiar girl leaning against the wall.

“Hey, baby sis,” Jinsol greets quietly.

“Jinsol,” Yerim says, eyes immediately starting to water. Jinsol walks closer and kneels next to Yerim, the younger girl burying her face into Jinsol’s shoulder as soon as they’re close enough, “Jinsol…”

Jungeun finds herself feeling mixed emotions. She’s glad Yerim and Jinsol have reunited, but…

Yerim’s  _ never _ hugged her like that. And for her to hug Jinsol like that after two years of them not even knowing if the other was alive, her heart feels heavy.

_ She’s going to choose Jinsol _ .

“You’re alive,” Yerim whispers through her quiet sobs, “How are you even alive? The Fireflies attacked us… They—”

“She  ** _is_ ** a Firefly,” Jungeun states. 

The words immediately make things tense, and it becomes silent.

Yerim pulls away. She looks between Jungeun and Jinsol with confusion. 

“That’s… That’s not true, is it, Jinsol?” Yerim asks in disbelief, settling her eyes on Jinsol.

Jinsol shakes her head. She pulls out a necklace that had been hidden beneath her shirt and Yerim gasps at the familiar firefly logo engraved on it.

“W—Why?” Yerim whispers, eyebrows furrowing, “Why would you join them?”

“I had no choice,” Jinsol repeats the words she’d told Jungeun just hours ago, “I would’ve died without them.”

“But they… they killed mom,” Yerim replies, “they shot her…”

“I know, Yerim,” Jinsol sighs, “I know. But in this world, we have to deal with the cards we’re dealt. I was dealt two cards; one would make me die and one would let me live. I chose to live.”

Jungeun tightens her jaw.

“Then why…” Yerim looks over to Jungeun, and then back to Jinsol, “why are you  _ here _ ?”

Jinsol reaches forward to clasp Yerim’s hands in her own, “I want to bring you back with me.”

“Like, you want me to become a Firefly?”

Jinsol nods.

Yerim’s quiet for a moment. And then she turns her head to face Jungeun, “Jungeun, you’re coming, too, right?”

“No,” Jungeun answers, “I’m not.”

“What?” Yerim whispers heartbreakingly. She looks back to Jinsol, “We can’t just leave Jungeun alone, Jinsol.”

“She’s choosing to be alone,” Jinsol sighs, “I asked her to join me already. She doesn’t want to.”

“Yeah, sorry I don’t want to join the group that  **literally** killed my family,” Jungeun says sarcastically, standing from the ground and crossing her arms over her chest.

Jinsol looks at her sadly, “It’s  _ safer _ with them, Jungeun.”

“ **Fuck** safety, then,” Jungeun replies.

Yerim’s gaze flickers between the two girls worriedly, “I…”

Jungeun walks towards one of the windows, staring out of it blankly. 

Without turning around, she says, “Yerim, just choose which one of us you’re going to go with…”

She struggles to get the sentence out without having her voice crack. She feels her throat start to close up as tears form in her eyes. 

  
  
  


...

  
  
  


The silence drags on.

  
  
  


...

  
  
  


Jungeun stares at the birds flying around in the sky. They’re nothing more than blurry blobs of grey because of her tears, though.

…

  
  
  


She notices that the sky is grayer than usual. There are a lot more clouds. It’s going to rain.

  
  
  


…

  
  
  


“I choose Jinsol.”

  
  
  


…

  
  
  


Jungeun had expected the answer, but it still feels like her heart’s being torn out of her chest.

She nods, “Okay.”

“Jungeun, I’m sorry, but Jinsol—”

“It’s fine,” Jungeun cuts her off. She doesn’t want to hear it.

Jungeun can hear the two stand from the floor. One of them shuffles closer to Jungeun, and she tenses up. She blinks her tears away but keeps her gaze fixed on the world outside.

“Jungeun, you can still come with us,” Jinsol whispers.

“No,” Jungeun replies.

“Why are you being so  **stubborn** ?” Jinsol asks desperately, pushing on Jungeun’s shoulder to get the younger one to face her, “Just come with us. We can be together again—like we used to be.”

“Like we  _ used to be _ ?” Jungeun repeats venomously, “Are you fucking kidding me, Jinsol? Nothing— ** _nothing_ ** —is what it used to be, Jinsol. We don’t share a bunk-bed anymore, Jinsol. Yerim’s not  **eight** anymore, Jinsol!”

“Being hung up on the past isn’t going to help you move forward,” Jinsol says, trying to contain her anger seeing as Jungeun’s releasing hers.

“Fuck you,” Jungeun spits out, “ _ Fuck _ .  ** _You_ ** .”

“Jungeun, Jinsol,” Yerim calls out weakly, “please don’t fight.  _ Please _ .”

Jinsol gives a sorry look towards her little sister, but Jungeun keeps her heated glare glued on Jinsol.

“If you want us to be together again so bad,” Jungeun says through her teeth, “then why don’t  _ you  _ leave the Fireflies?”

“No,” Jinsol replies.

Jungeun scoffs, not showing how much the answer actually hurts her. She wants Jinsol to choose her and Yerim over the Fireflies. 

She wants Jinsol to choose  **her** .

“I’ve been a Firefly for two years now, Jungeun,” Jinsol says, “I have connections. I have  _ friends  _ there, people I care about—”

“ ** _I_ ** was your friend,” Jungeun snaps back angrily, almost vulnerably with the unsaid depth of their ‘friendship’, “you cared about  ** _me_ ** .”

“Jungeun…” Jinsol whispers, tears building up in her own eyes. Jungeun tries to harden her resolve, but she fails because of how much she’s tearing up.

“I’m not joining the fucking Fireflies,” Jungeun says through her teeth, ignoring the tears rolling down her cheeks, “I’ll be fine on my own.”

Yerim’s bottom lip quivers, “Jungeun…”

Jungeun moves past Jinsol and leans down to pick up her bag. She feels her heart constricting, making it hard for her to breathe. She blinks away the blurriness of her vision caused by all of her tears and moves quickly to avoid the sad eyes of the two girls she’s grown to love so much throughout the years.

“Make sure Yerim gets that concussion checked out,” she whispers under her breath, pointing towards Yerim but looking at Jinsol as she heads towards the door.

Yerim breaks down, letting out a “Jungeun—wait!” before running forwards and crashing her body against the older girl’s.

Jungeun almost falls back at the impact, but immediately steadies herself and brings both arms around to hug Yerim as she feels the girl start to sob into her shoulder.

“Don’t leave,” she cries, “please don’t leave.”

Jungeun hugs her tightly, pressing one hand on the back of Yerim’s head and squeezing gently, “I can’t become one of them, Yerim.”

Yerim’s body shakes, “Don’t…”

Jungeun closes her eyes tightly to fend away the nonstop tears, “I’m sorry.”

“I’m going to miss you…” Yerim whispers shakily.

Jungeun feels whatever’s left of her heart shatter. She struggles to keep her sobs contained, but her shoulders have started to shake, too. She tightens her hold on Yerim to keep herself from trembling.

“Don’t give Jinsol as much of a hard time as you did for me, okay?”

Yerim laughs at this, though she’s still crying, “I did  _ not _ give you a hard time.”

Jungeun pulls out of the hug, nodding. She wipes away the tears on Yerim’s cheeks.

Their eye-contact only makes both of them start to tear up again.

“I know you didn’t,” Jungeun whispers.

Yerim sniffles, “Can’t you come with us?”

“I’d feel like I’d be disrespecting my parents by going with you two,” Jungeun whispers, “you know what they did to us.”

Jinsol lets out a heavy sigh.

Jungeun quirks an eyebrow at her.

The older girl gathers up her own stuff, rifle included.

“Fireflies are scouting the area for you, Jungeun,” she warns, “you’re not going to make it out of here alive.”

“I can handle myself just fine,” Jungeun frowns.

“I have a friend who has a safehouse on the edge of town. She’ll probably let you stay there for a little until the hunt for you has cooled down,” Jinsol says. She walks closer to Yerim and Jungeun, “the walk isn’t too far, but if we want to make it there before dark we should leave now.”

“What about Yerim? She’s hurt,” Jungeun points out.

“I’m fine,” Yerim mumbles, “Jinsol, are you serious about the safehouse?”

“Why would I lie?”

“Because you’re a Firefly…” Jungeun grumbles.

Jinsol gives her a pointed stare, “Becoming a Firefly doesn’t automatically make me a liar, Jungeun.”

“Doesn’t it?”

“Are you serious—?”

“ _ Whatever _ ,” Jungeun whispers, promptly cutting off what was sure to be another argument between her and Jinsol, “you don’t have to come with me to the safehouse. Just tell me where it is, I’ll go by myself.”

“No,” Jinsol shakes her head, “I know where the Fireflies are patrolling and what routes to take to avoid them. I’m going with you.”

“God, you’re so annoying,” Jungeun huffs. She points down the hall, “ **Fine** . Lead the way,  _ Firefly _ .”

—

Jungeun has to give the Fireflies credit. They  _ really  _ have the town on lockdown. The three of them haven’t even run into one infected yet, and they’ve been walking for about an hour now. They walk through backyards of houses and avoid the streets as much as possible.

Each step makes them closer to their destination, and that means they’re one step closer to having to split up.

However, it starts to rain. Actually, that’s an understatement. It starts to  **pour** .

“Isn’t this a good thing?” Jungeun asks as they stand underneath the overhang of a house’s backyard patio, “Fireflies can’t see us travelling through the rain.”

“But that also means  _ we  _ can’t see  _ them _ ,” Jinsol replies, “ **or** any infected. It’s not safe. We need to settle down and sit the rain out.”

Yerim stares up at the dark sky, “I don’t think it’s going to stop anytime soon.”

Jinsol turns and tugs on the house’s sliding door. Fortunately, it’s unlocked. She slides it open and gestures for Jungeun and Yerim to enter.

They do so cautiously, eyes alert. Jinsol enters and closes the door behind her, locking it as well. She walks in front of the two and tightens her hold on her rifle, bringing it up so she can aim down the sight as she checks the hall of the house.

Jungeun heads up the stairs, machete clutched in her good hand. She listens carefully for any sort of movement, but doesn’t hear anything. Her heartbeat thumps loudly in her ears as she carefully pushes a bedroom door open with her foot. The stench hits her instantly and the visual she has to take in a moment later makes her nearly vomit.

She shuts the door just as she sees Jinsol get to the top of the stairs. Yerim follows behind her.

“Don’t open this door,” she whispers grimly.

“Why?” Yerim asks.

“Just  **don’t** ,” Jungeun grunts before checking the other two rooms.

After making sure all the rooms are clear and that the front door locks and that the windows are boarded, the girls start to properly rest.

Yerim takes the couch in the living room as Jungeun sharpens her machete and Jinsol cleans her gun in the kitchen.

It doesn’t take long for Yerim to fall asleep, and both of the older girls stop their tasks because they don’t want to make too much noise.

Jinsol speaks first, “What was in the room?”

Jungeun shakes her head, “Dead family.”

“Dead as in…”

“Shot in the head,” Jungeun whispers, “a little girl, a mom, a dad.”

“Did… Was there a gun?”

Jungeun sends a glare over to Jinsol, “I don’t know, Jinsol. I was too busy trying not to puke my guts out to notice if there was a  _ fucking gun _ .”

Jinsol clenches her teeth, “I don’t remember you being such a  _ bitch _ .”

“Funny. I don’t remember you being a  _ Firefly _ ,” Jungeun snaps back sarcastically.

With a sigh, Jinsol shakes her head and puts her gun down on the counter. She walks away from Jungeun and heads back up to the room that Jungeun had told them to avoid.

A few moments later, Jinsol comes back with two pistols. She picks away at the dried blood on it.

“Seriously…” Jungeun scoffs under her breath.

After cleaning the guns, she holds them out to Jungeun, “Take your pick.”

“What?”

“Which one do you like more?”

“Are you fucking with me right now?”

“No, Jungeun,” Jinsol says with another tired sigh, “I want you to choose a weapon that can help you protect yourself. You know what, just take both of them.”

She walks closer to put the guns in front of Jungeun. Jungeun almost takes a flinching step backwards, but she keeps her feet rooted to the ground.

“I’m not going to leave you with just a machete as protection,” Jinsol says.

“You don’t have to  **leave me** at all, actually,” Jungeun replies.

Jinsol freezes. Her arm is still outstretched to place the weapons on the counter behind Jungeun. They’re face-to-face, with Jungeun’s chin tilted upwards slightly to make eye-contact with her.

“I’m not leaving the Fireflies, Jungeun,” she states with a sense of finality. 

“You said you didn’t want to lose me again,” Jungeun says in a whisper. 

It’s hard not to let her hurt tone seep through her words, but she feels the heartbreak of losing Jinsol the first time hit her again. She starts to remember how hard she held onto Yerim’s hand as they ran away from the chaos and gunshots, remembers her own heart collapsing in on itself as they walked further and further away from where she knew Jinsol was. 

She remembers Yerim crying and yelling at Jungeun to go back, to go find Jinsol.

Her eyes start to get watery as Jinsol’s do, too. They’re both thinking of the same thing.

Jungeun brings her hand up and clutches tightly onto Jinsol’s forearm, eyebrows furrowed as she does her best to keep the tears at bay.

“The Fireflies ruined our lives,” she manages to get out through gritted teeth, trying to get Jinsol to realize how ridiculous it was to ask her to join—how ridiculous it was for  _ Jinsol _ to join.

“But they  _ saved  _ my life, too,” Jinsol counters, “without them, I—”

“Without them, we wouldn’t have gotten separated in the first place,” Jungeun hisses, keeping her voice low so as to not wake Yerim up. 

At this point, they sound like broken records on repeat. 

Jinsol places the guns down and, with her hand now free, reaches out to curl her fingers around Jungeun’s elbow. She stares at Jungeun with tired eyes.

“I’ve built a family with the Fireflies,” she says gently, “I don’t want to lose them like I lost you two.”

Jungeun wants to shout at her, wants to shout that  _ she _ was Jinsol’s family first, but she doesn’t. She resigns silently and lets go of Jinsol, causing Jinsol to let go of her and take a step back.

With a sniffle, Jungeun turns around and fiddles with the two pistols in front of her. 

“Thanks for the guns,” she whispers, struggling to keep her voice steady, “I’ll make sure to use them if I find myself in a sticky situation after you two leave.”

“Jungeun—”

“Don’t,” Jungeun sighs, “clearly there’s nothing either of us can say or do to make the other change their mind.”

Jinsol takes a baby step towards Jungeun, who stiffens upon hearing it.

“I love y—”

Jungeun spins on her heels, shaking her head violently as her back digs into the counter behind her, “You don’t get to say that.”

“What?”

“You don’t—” Jungeun chokes on her own words, stammering as the tears she managed to blink away moments earlier come back, rolling down her cheeks, “you don’t get to say that.”

“And why not?”

“Because—”

“Because I  _ left _ you?” Jinsol asks, frustrated, “I didn’t mean to leave you and Yerim—you  _ know _ I would never purposely leave either of you. I thought you two were  _ dead _ , just like how you two thought  _ I _ was dead. It wasn’t like I had any other reason to believe you two were alive other than blind hope.”

Jungeun opens her mouth to say something, but Jinsol keeps talking.

“ _ No _ —you keep making me seem like the bad guy because I joined the Fireflies and it isn’t fair. I’m not a bad guy because I wanted to survive, Jungeun. I spent weeks trying to find you two— _ weeks _ . I was losing my goddamn mind all by myself and I was about ready to give up when I was spotted by a Firefly.”

“Of course, my first instinct was to kill the bastard, but… but she was our age, Jungeun. And she was  _ nice _ . She brought me back to her base and eventually I was a Firefly. I never once stopped thinking about you two. Every single thing I did, my brain always thought of you and Yerim; whether you were alive, whether you died horrifying deaths, whether you died thinking I abandoned you two.”

Jinsol’s crying now, nose sniffling and hands wiping messily at her cheeks that are stained with tears.

“I didn’t mean to betray you—it wasn’t what my first thought was when I joined the Fireflies. I joined the Fireflies so I could keep on living, so I could maybe find you two again and be reunited. I can understand why you’re angry at me, but I want you to know that I—I…”

She trails off, voice cracking.

Jungeun’s eyes struggle to stay focused on Jinsol’s face. She looks so pained, so sad—and it hurts for Jungeun to even look at her.

“I never meant for you to hate me,” Jinsol chokes out.

The words make Jungeun’s gaze snap back onto Jinsol, eyes widening.

“I don’t hate you,” she says immediately.

“But…” Jinsol whimpers, confused eyes flickering between Jungeun’s.

“I could never hate you,” Jungeun admits, “I’m just hurt.”

Jungeun’s never been one to properly express her feelings.

Jinsol knows that.

“You feel like I’m choosing the Fireflies over you,” Jinsol says.

Jungeun nods, averting her eyes to the ground. 

“That’s not—”

“But it is,” Jungeun sighs, “you  _ are _ choosing them over me, Jinsol. Think about it.”

“I want you to come  _ with  _ me,” Jinsol lets out a huff of breath. She puts her hands on Jungeun’s shoulders.

“Well I want  _ you  _ to come with  _ me _ ,” Jungeun murmurs. 

She feels her stomach drop as she realizes that they’re back at Point A again. They’re not getting anywhere with this.

Jinsol’s hands trail down Jungeun’s arms until their fingers weakly interlock.

“I want to be with you again,” Jinsol whispers.

It’s too familiar to Jungeun; those soft eyes and calloused hands—it almost makes her want to cry out. But then she gets a glimpse of the Firefly necklace Jinsol has on and suddenly it’s too much for her. 

Jungeun pulls her hands away from Jinsol’s and turns her head to the side.

“It’s late. We should sleep,” she clears her throat, “I’ll keep first watch.”

Jungeun doesn’t see Jinsol’s reaction, but she can imagine the crestfallen look on her face. She can imagine the way Jinsol hardens her features in an effort to seem unbothered.

And if Jungeun hears Jinsol sniffling in the room over, she pretends not to hear it.

—

  
  
  
  
  


Jungeun doesn’t like to think about the last time she saw Yerim and Jinsol. It’d been a tearful goodbye, as expected. Yerim almost wouldn’t let her go and Jinsol had to literally pry the younger girl off of Jungeun. Yerim hadn’t bawled her eyes out like that since they’d thought Jinsol’d been killed.

Hearing Yerim cry that hard… it was almost enough to get Jungeun to stay.

_ Almost _ .

True to her word, Jinsol’s friend at the safehouse is cool enough to let Jungeun stay. Her name’s Hyunjin and she’s been staying at the safehouse for months now. Jungeun’s never planned on becoming close friends with Hyunjin, but when you’re stuck in a boarded up building with only one person as company, it’s inevitable that conversation happens.

Jungeun learns that Hyunjin hadn’t always been alone at the safehouse, and that she used to live here with her girlfriend. 

(Jungeun doesn’t ask what happened and Hyunjin doesn’t elaborate.) 

They spend most of their days just checking stock and killing the various stragglers that get too close to Hyunjin’s traps outside. It’s a boring rinse and repeat cycle that has Jungeun wondering how Hyunjin hasn’t gone completely mental yet.

She asks Hyunjin that one day, and Hyunjin just laughs.

“Who says I’m not?” she chortles, “it’s better to be crazy than to be dead, right?”

Jungeun doesn’t respond.

(Because she’s not sure she agrees.)


End file.
